I was scouring the internet one afternoon when I happened upon an article that snatched my attention. The article was about an ice cream shop in Covent Garden, London that serves breast milk ice cream. – human breast milk ice cream. It’s difficult to grasp, I know. But, yes, they makes ice cream, for the consumption of adults, out of the breast milk of volunteer women. Does the very idea of this not make you want to gag? The guy who owns the place says that it’s fresh, organic and free range He left out, unnatural.
The owner says if it’s good enough for babies it’s good enough for everyone. Perhaps he’s a new father. I wonder if he drinks the breast milk straight from the mummy-pump. Oh, the idea is too terrible to bear. Apparently women donated their breast milk, and the first batch of ice cream sold out within weeks. The English loved it. Have they lost their way?
Down here at the tip of Africa, we usually acknowledge the good taste of the English. We have in many things copied the colonial ways of the English. We love tea, scones, and cucumber sandwiches. We love gin. We play croquet on lawns and many formerly English people now belong to us. We have English Africans. We love so many things English, but we don’t really understand this. At least, I don’t. I think the idea is disgusting. I think the fact is disgusting. It can’t possibly be right.
Babies don’t drink the milk of just any lactating female who happens to be in the vicinity, do they? There are no lactating female pump restaurants where they can go and choose from 32 different flavours. Breast milk is like an umbilical cord. What fully grown up, sophisticated, complex human wants to go and chew on the umbilical cords of hundreds of different women? The very idea is – I can think of only one word – disgusting! There is no other word for it. Eeek!
Yes, we drink the milk of other creatures and we eat their flesh, and that’s nature’s way. There is a food chain as God ordained that there should be. I know there are many who don’t get the eating of other animals, but I do. I get that. I get the food chain. I don’t get the human breast milk ice cream thing.
Babies of all species get their first nourishment from their mothers. Does a dog drop it’s litter and then hand them over to another dog to feed? It does not. Human babies only drink the milk of their mothers. They don’t just grab at anyone’s tit. And humans only drink their mother’s milk while they are babies. Eventually, that milk dries up because when the human reaches a certain age that milk is no longer suitable for consumption, because as it matures the human being’s body becomes more sophisticated and more complex and needs other things, because we grow up to eat these other things, and that’s nature’s way. Is this not going completely against nature, the making of ice cream for adult consumption out of the breast milk of random women? It cannot be right, surely. Is there not something cannibalistic about it? I’m sure there is. It’s like eating the flesh of another human. It’s totally bestial. Is there no law that prohibits such a thing? There should be a law.
Why then, even go to all the trouble of making it into ice cream? Why not just sell it in bottles, like they do with cow’s milk, and goat’s milk. Stick it on the shelves at the super market and people can use it to make their tea and cook their cakes and sauces. People can warm it up and have it with a biscuit before bedtime. Can you imagine such a circumstance in your lifetime? I can’t. No, I can’t get my head around it. And once you start with the human breast milk, where does it end? It’ll end in tears, that’s where it’ll end.
They’ll create farms where they can herd lactating women and feed them on grass and milk them twice a day to ensure a constant supply and quality control? Seriously though, nothing stays the same. There will be developments. It won’t be good. If the milk is good; what about the meat? The skin is nice and soft. Will they use the skin to make shoes and handbags? Are women now to be reduced to the status of cows? Could women be sold at market? Would women’s milk and flesh ameliorate the world food crisis? I am asking sincerely, where does it end?
I sound a little hysterical, I know. I feel a little hysterical! Call me old fashioned if you will, but of one thing I can assure you. I will never, not in this lifetime or the next be able to get to grips with this particular little culinary quirk!
What will they offer us next? Creamy Sperm Ice Cream? Eeeeek!