e-toll! Haibo!

Haibo man, I mean really, it’s not fair. It’s not right. Haibo, angeke!

The thing is that we only earn so much money, and in my sector that isn’t very much at all, and we give so much of it to the tax man and the electricity man and the gas man and the pool man and the hair man and the mani-pedi man and the restaurant man and the education man and the church man and I can go on into a lot of etcetera. We’re already hemorrhaging money.

From whence comes this e-toll man, now?  Where must we find space for him?  What money does this e-toll man think is left over for him? I haven’t even started on the shoe man and the boutique man and the airline man. Haibo, e-toll man must take e-hike along e-highway.

I know they said that they had repaired the highways. Well, should we be impressed? That’s why we pay road tax in the first place isn’t it? We pay our road tax for the upkeep of our highways. Not only do we pay the road tax, but we stand in those uncomfortably hot Department of Transport offices at Marlborough or Langlaagte in long queues, which takes a lot of time, and as we all know time is money. It is most inconvenient and it is sacrifice enough. If you have ever been a month or two late in paying your road tax you will know that they are totally unforgiving and make you pay extra. It’s as though they think that paying road tax is top of mind. No, we have other things on our minds, if you don’t mind.

How is it that e-toll registration is starting already? I thought we were going to discuss it. Wasn’t there something about the citizens not having been consulted and needing to have their say by way of a referendum? What happened to that? Was that discussion cancelled because it is already brazenly clear that the citizens say ‘Hell no’!

They probably think that they don’t have to ask us. They probably think that we just have to pay. We don’t, you know.

It’s not that I’m calling for a revolution or anything so treasonous, but I feel it would be remiss of me, given my heritage, if I did not engage in a little sedition here; if I did not at least get on my soap box, lift my right fist high and quietly suggest that we might possibly take to the streets, occupy the highways, hack into those e-toll stations rendering them chaotic and useless, and in general make our displeasure felt.

Make e-tolling ungovernable. United we stand. Let’s get some harum-scarum going with e-toll tax.  It’s highway robbery.

Citizens of Gauteng, bring your vehicles and block those highways. If you don’t have cars bring bicycles.  If you don’t have bicycles, bring wheels, if you don’t have wheels then God be with you.  Call the taxis, bring the busses.  I know there are some who need to get to work, but that’s only a few of us.  Most of us are unemployed.  The majority have nothing to do with our days but sit on tolled highways and sing. We are the 99%. Let us not forget that. In fact, this is South Africa, so we’re the 99.999%. We are the great unemployed, uneducated, unwashed, unwanted majority and these are our roads. How dare they even begin to suggest that we rent space on our own roads? Our forefathers gave us those roads.  Take back the roads!

Panzi e-toll roads, Panzi! – Panzi!

Panzi the South African National Roads Agency, Panzi! – Panzi!

Viva the liberation of the highways and byways from e-tolls, Viva! –  Viva!

Long live the freedom to drive on our highways without e-toll, long live! – Long live!

See, it comes so naturally.  It’s in our blood.

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About Tselane Tambo

I share myself in these desultory ramblings. It’s my thoughts and memories; some anecdotes and opinions. It’s an accidental autobiography. When you’ve meandered through these pages you’ll be within reach of a little piece of me. Thank you for dropping by.
This entry was posted in Nocturnal Ramblings of a Mind Unplugged. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to e-toll! Haibo!

  1. dareworldLus says:

    Lol..funny but straight to the point! I also say they must take those roads back then!

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