Seal it with a Kiss

Did an involuntary shriek of shocked and disbelieving delight not escape your lips the moment you realised that you were looking at Pope Benedict XVI snogging Sheik Ahmed el-Tayeb?

Snogging isn’t a nice word.  It’s common.  Well, actually, the action is the common thing, not the word, and then only when done in public like this.  Nonetheless, it’s definitely not a word befitting the embrace between the Pope and the Imam even if it was a public display of an intimate moment.   I don’t mean to be disrespectful of their affection. I shall rephrase.  The Pope and the Imam were in lip-locked salutation.

Oh my giddy aunt!  Lawd-a-mercy!  Oh glee!  Those who came up with this one are too deliciously daring.  But it’s a lovely idea, isn’t it, the love between the religions.  I’m sure it’s the way God intended.  Well, maybe God didn’t intend the deep throat, but I’m sure he intended the love.

Barrak Obama came off looking particularly like the politically promiscuous one.  There he was smooching China’s President Hu Jintao in one picture and nibbling Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez in another. And now we hear Barrack has gone to Australia and is carrying on with Auzi PM Julia Gillard. He’s such a hussey.

I like to think that the Pope was very cool with the pictures.  It’s only a bit of fun.  Although the official position is ‘unacceptable’.   Apart from those few moments when he gets trotted out in his Pope viewing vehicle what attention does poor old Benedict get? It’s scant.  Benetton has made Benedict into a Pope-star!

The White House has said that they don’t like their beloved Barrack being exploited for commercial ends.  For what ends do they want him exploited? Dare we ask? Agh shame man, sorry Bhut’Barrack.

We should plagiarise that unhate thing.  We can use it to good effect here in SA.  The time is opportune.  We should take it and really promote ‘unhate’.  Who needs it as much as we?

For example, if we were to put Mr Malema into a lip-grip with Madam Zille. Don’t you think it would help?  It’s necessary, especially after he said she dances like a monkey, and she called him ‘inkewnkwe’.  Wouldn’t a picture campaign of that encourage them to unhate?

Perhaps Mr Malema would also be persuaded to actually plant a lingering one on Mr Zuma in the interest of unhate if he saw a billboard of the two of them, their lips colliding, outside Luthuli House.

It could have a slogan “Make love at Mangaung”.

It’s wishful thinking, of course.  Whatever it is they’ll be planting on each other in coming months, one doubts that it will be anything as enchanting as a kiss.

Mr Malema talks like a man with a retribution plan. He has promised that Mangaung will be ‘eventful’.

What probably needs to happen is an ad campaign that encourages the executives of the ANC and ANCYL to pucker up in readiness for Mangaung.  But this is still South Africa, so we can safely assume that try though we might not everyone will avail their chops for the occasion.  Some will get creative with the parts of their anatomy they proffer for lips to be laid upon.

How about “Don’t hate, osculate”.  No, that’s bad.  Perhaps it comes down to one word. “Qabula”!


About Tselane Tambo

I share myself in these desultory ramblings. It’s my thoughts and memories; some anecdotes and opinions. It’s an accidental autobiography. When you’ve meandered through these pages you’ll be within reach of a little piece of me. Thank you for dropping by.
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