Porn

I’m not a prude.  I’m not kinky either.  There’s a little known and extremely personal fact about me just put out there for the whole world to look at.  I am exposed.  I’m neither kinky nor a prude.  There it is.  I think I’m normal.  I feel normal.  I have normal appetites.  I like normal things like a vibrator and a man and I think I’m quite liberated in that regard.  I don’t get shocked or horrified by news that so-and-so was caught doing it in the loo with someone.  I find those stories amusing.  I don’t look down on the person involved.  It’s their thing.  You get my drift, neh!  However………

I don’t watch porn.  It’s not that I have any objection to it.  I don’t think porn corrupts minds.  I mean it’s sex.  Is sex corrupt?  I know lots of people who are into porn.  Some of my friends have their porn movies tucked away in a cupboard in the bedroom where their children won’t find it.  They find porn inspiring.  That’s fine. It’s their thing.  It has nothing to do with me.  I don’t judge it.

Porn is just movies of people having sex. We all have sex, if we’re lucky.  Everyone deserves sexual satisfaction and if a little porn can inspire a new move or give expansion to the repertoire, then hey.  Who could possibly have a problem with that?

It’s not my thing.  I was raised by catholic nuns, so it can never be my thing.  Being raised by Nuns means that I’m genetically, religiously and socially engineered to be uncomfortable watching the sins, or should I say pleasures of the flesh.  It took me a long time to engage in the pleasures, as well.  I was almost twenty before that serpent bit.  But when it bit and handed over the forbidden fruit I wondered why we were engineered to wait so long for this? It was fabulous! It was fun! and because it was my greatest sin to date I assigned myself the task of saying a couple of Hail Mary’s in the morning to absolve myself of that sin.  In fact, I should probably have said a few thousand Hail Mary’s because this delicious little bit of sin was never going to stop.  I have, however, stopped apologising to God.  He invented it.  I’ve made his invention my own sweet pleasure.  I mean, really God, come on.  Are you not flattered that I like your invention so much?   You did good here. Not everything that you’ve invented do I like this much.  Porn, for example is not on my list of things loved.

I turned on my computer the other day and was scrolling through my pages recently opened in search of a page I needed to revisit and I came upon porn.  I shall not name names, nor shall I point fingers.  A certain young person, who shall remain nameless, had decided to visit porn sights on my laptop.  There was a distinct gasp that escaped my lungs, and a feeling of total embarrassed heat that coursed through my body.  If I was a white person I have no doubt that I would have turned puce red.  I turned puce brown.  Did I switch the porn off while all this physiological manifestation was attacking my body?  No!  I was curious.  This nameless young person had been looking at quite a bit of porn, so there were many pages open to the history of my laptop.

It was fascinating.  As I started looking at it I felt so guilty that I had to laugh at myself, but I didn’t feel guilty for too long.  The scales of Catholicism have nearly all fallen off.   First it was pictures.  Most of the poses the women and men adopted were undignified. I felt quite undignified looking at them.  However, curiosity!  What can one do with curiosity except satisfy it? I actually felt sorry for those poor girls with their naked butts thrust out because of the low production quality of the pictures, and the bad lighting that fell very far short of being sexy.  They only achieved sleeze status.  Who wants to take of their clothes and thrust out their naked butts for sleeze? It should be art.  Shame, neh!  I couldn’t help feeling that it was a little soulless and sad.  Sex is so much better than this. If you are going to sacrifice your dignity to the titillation of the nebulous masses then minimally, I’d say, you deserve your dignity to be sacrificed in high resolution.

But the videos, oh man, the videos.  Yes I did my research.  I mean, how could I possibly have an objection to something I hadn’t seen.  I had to watch so that I could adequately and with appropriate wrath, express my distaste, displeasure and disbelief.  The videos were beyond explicit. Shocking!  I’m not a white person, but believe me when I say that I achieved puce red.  I don’t know that I’ve ever felt the kind of abashment that assailed me. I was abashed and assailed.  The videos……. well all I can say in response to the videos is, maybe I am a bit of a prude.  Just a bit.

Advertisements

About Tselane Tambo

I share myself in these desultory ramblings. It’s my thoughts and memories; some anecdotes and opinions. It’s an accidental autobiography. When you’ve meandered through these pages you’ll be within reach of a little piece of me. Thank you for dropping by.
This entry was posted in Nocturnal Ramblings of a Mind Unplugged. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Porn

  1. Mandlati says:

    Good piece indeed, but i also wish you could share the name of the video or the link. Your last paragraph suggest that there is something in that video that would really make one curious(specifically for that very video).

    • You’ll enjoy doing it, but watching others do it is just embarrassing. I’m going to be kind and spare you, lest you be as abashed and assailed as I. LOL!

      • Mandlati says:

        Please do.The emphasis that you make on your last paragraph sparked a certain curiosity in me,though i admit it may be a bit awkward watching others do it..

  2. Delise says:

    Tselane spare Mandlati from asking THREE times .. and send them the link :) hahaha. I love it.. makes the world fun and amusing.

  3. kwakhehla says:

    Chuckle! Sounds like a chapter from Innocence Lost (or was that The Little Flowers of St Francis?).

    Sex – fun to do with an equally willing partner, boring to watch (such a limited dialogue, such atrocious acting). But then I feel the same about other kinds of voyeurism such as sport and television.

    On the other hand sex is not just fun for the young. They are compulsively obsessed with it. Hopefully they eventually escape and find that there are other interesting things they can also learn to do.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s