Farewell Mr Malema!

malema 6I had a conversation a few years back it went like this and led me to this article.  I was highly amused at myself.  That was April 2010.  The article below was in The Star Newspaper.  Mr Malema was at his zenith and despite all the outrage no one even tried to shut him down.  And now Mr Malema is gone.  We’re going to miss him – ish!  That’s not true.  We’re going to forget him – ish!  Well, maybe not.  He’s pretty unforgettable.  Anyway, this one is in memory of Mr Malema and the Malema Years.  Farewell, Mr Malema.  It’s been real.


“Why doesn’t the President want to probe Mr Malema?

“Indeed, it’s not as if Mr Malema couldn’t do with a good hard probe.”

“JZ says there isn’t enough proof to warrant a probe.”

“But surely the proof is in the probing.”

“I think the President has enough probing on his plate, don’t you?”

It was all quite light hearted probing banter until one among us lost it.

“Tselane, you’re not a politician so why don’t you focus on your own business instead of insulting people.  Why don’t you stand up in the appropriate forums and structures and say something, if you have something to say? It’s because you are not brave like Comrade OR.” …………..and the tirade went on.

Whao, Buddy, calm down!  Don’t blame me; blame Mr Malema. People make jokes because people are angry. Just about everyone is in a thunderous rage because of Mr Malema.

The PAC youth are baying for his blood and are going to “injure him to death”.  What is that?  Sounds like some kind of slow 15th century torture.  Maybe they plan something like thumb screws or the rack.  They’ll tighten the thumb screws or stretch him out on the rack all the while demanding   ‘Who initiated the march in Sharpville in 1960”?  malema 2If Mr Malema doesn’t respond “PAC, PAC!” they will tighten the thumbscrews or stretch him taller on the rack.  If Mr Malema doesn’t retract and express his regret the PAC youth will ‘turn the country upside down’.  Come on, guys, it’s not our fault.   We read the history books.  Our parents were there.  We know what happened.  Somebody, please talk to them – bring peace and understanding.  Bring calm.

Afriforum are in a frenzy of seething apoplexy because Mr Malema chose to sing  ‘kill the Boar’ on Human Rights Day!  Afriforum managed to have the song banned.  But that’s not all.  The farmers, angry and incensed, rock up at Luthuli House with a list of those among them who have been killed on the farms. The list is, no doubt, meant to drive home the dangers of such songs being sung. To all amazement the list is torn up in their faces adding insult to injury.  Then, Mr Malema, in all his political wisdom, threatens the farmers with fatal wounding and reminds them of the regrettable battle with the IFP in 1994.  Would a little bit of conciliation be too much to ask?  Could someone engender some calm?

Steve  Hofmeyr is well irked with Mr Malema as he has pointed out clearly in his acerbic Malema 5little letter.  The letter is pure and profound, unbridled anger; ‘a pitiful black man living in denial of your own impotence’  ‘the only thing you should be remembered for is your share in falling short of a brilliant idea: a working South Africa’. Eina!   Mense, kalm, assebleif!

Women and the men who love them are furious with Mr Malema. So furious, in fact, that they thought it worth spending a great deal of time and effort taking him to the equality court for ‘hate-speech, harassment and unfair discrimination’.  They won their case.  Mr Malema must apologise.  But can he muster up a suitably contrite and elaborate apology? Perhaps Mr Malema could employ Mr Tiger Woods’ apology writer and after a well rehearsed performance we the women will begin to calm down.

The Journalists are in a righteous tizzy over Mr Malema’s threat that he is going to expose them for sleeping with politicians and taking bribes to get inside information.  One journo who allegedly has millions of unaccounted for moola in his bank account hasmalema 3 been singled out.  Now that the media are pissed off, if there is anything damning, mildly reprehensible, or even down right irrelevant that they can possibly find out about Mr Malema they bore us with it.  Mr Malema has declared war and so to war they must go.  But we would be spared all this tiresome side issue if the ladies and gentlemen of the media would calm down.

I’m pissed off with Mr Malema because everything is all about Mr Malema;  all people talk about is how pissed off they are with him; and how dumb they think he is and what a crook he is; or, like my friend, they blow a gasket in his defence.

I am pissed off at Mr Malema because Mr Malema has killed calm.

My friend is right, I am not brave like Comrade O.R.; I’d be terrified to go to a structure or forum and take on Mr Malema.  So I make jokes with friends about the endless headlines and wish, if for no other purpose than to soothe my sad insufficiency of Comrade O.R.-ness, that everyone would take a step back, take a deep breath and just calm down!Malema 1


About Tselane Tambo

I share myself in these desultory ramblings. It’s my thoughts and memories; some anecdotes and opinions. It’s an accidental autobiography. When you’ve meandered through these pages you’ll be within reach of a little piece of me. Thank you for dropping by.
This entry was posted in Nocturnal Ramblings of a Mind Unplugged. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Farewell Mr Malema!

  1. candice says:

    i stumbled upon your ramblings a while back- they’re very much small gems, and very much enjoyed.
    thank you.

  2. kwakhehla says:

    Nice one Tselane! Always shooting straight and from the hip! There is no duplicity in your writing which is always refreshing and interesting,

    Julius was created by the press hanging on, and reporting, his every word (sure to shock and cause highly-miffed outrage). Until he made the mistake of turning on them.

    Julius was created by the JZ camp for their own purpose. They capitalized on the divisions and upset he caused in making JZ well-nigh untouchable, and on his, his ability to sweep adulating crowds to fever pitch in support of JZ. Until he made the mistake of turning on JZ.

    Julius was created as an icon by the poor. They saw him as the champion of their plight and a champion against the corruption of power and wealth. Until he made the mistake of not being able to effectively cover up that he himself was anything but poor and certainly not above suspicion of being corrupt.

    People are fickle. What they create they can just as easily destroy.

  3. My is the power…yeeee

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